How can You Express your Feelings in a Healthy Way

Amidst these times of war and strife, how can we still sustain and nurture our wellbeing and hope.

Are you in touch with your feelings?

Or you tend to put a lid on top of them?

Unless you are living in an isolated bubble, it has been hard not to be affected by the ongoing crisis in the Middle East. Yes absolutely there are other tragedies being perpetrated in the world, but this one seems particularly poignant in its historical longevity and has directly affected may friends, including ones I went to visit recently, one of whom has family in Israel. An upcoming family wedding has been cancelled, as the groom who is a soldier, has been called to the frontline.

The ancestral trauma that runs through all these nations cannot justify what is happening, but it runs very very deep.

Feeling our emotions

And as many of us feel so helpless in this situation, we have to acknowledge and sometimes simply surrender to our emotional pain. And this means allowing them to pass through us. Just like the earth we are comprised of approximately 70% water and our emotions are fluid and watery. If we do not allow our emotions to pass through us, just like trapped water in lakes or rivers, the water becomes stagnant. They become breeding grounds for diseases and bacteria.

Similarly if we do not find a healthy outlet for our emotions, disease can set into the body.

Only by feeling our emotional pain can we process and work through it.

On being ‘mixed race’

In many cultures people are taught to not be too expressive for fear of embarrassment. I grew up in the British land of ‘chin up’, ‘man up’ and the ‘stiff upper lip.’

In my Chinese heritage, I clearly remember in Ang Lee’s seminal movie ‘Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’, where during the Qing dynasty, the two main protagonists are bound by conflicting loyalties from revealing their true emotions to each other. It takes them about ten years or so before they declare their love for each other, but it comes too late for them to be together. How stark a contrast to the superficial swipe culture of today.

We may never understand how people can be pushed into destructive actions, what they have seen and experienced in their lives; the deep hurts and perpetrations in their families that fuels the lust for revenge. In fuelling a sense of patriotism and allegiance to their ancestors, they also a sense of inner connection to their intrinsic humanity – fuelled by external factors and circumstances beyond sense or reason.

Somatic Meaning

This is why reconnecting back to self, and the somatics of the bodily felt sense is so important. And when we are truly in touch with our inner felt senses, we can come from a place of listening and enquiry, rather than from a place of anger and being reactive. In coming back to our core, and the inner source of who we are, it allows for the process of flow.

If we could all work through our pain and connect back into our hearts, how different could the world be. This is why I know what I do is so important for the world. To guide people to drop out of their left brained linear processing, and to land into a different state of experiencing in the world, that allows for expansion and growth.

Cacao Ceremony and Ecstatic Dance

Last weekend in Stroud, Gloucestershire I held a Cacao Ceremony and heart expanding Ecstatic Dance, and there are more in the planning. It is so important to connect back into who we are, and the gentle wisdom of the cacao assisted this for us. But we may be holding so much pain and sorrow that even the gentle cacao may feel too strong. In this case we fall back on the holding container of our bodies, our wisdom temple – when we take the time to listen to its whisperings as well as cries.

If you would like to learn more about how somatics can help you, then download my free e-Book – Our Bodies can Think, and join my newsletter to keep updated with exciting upcoming events and offers. 

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